"Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?" Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.She said: "What are your golf clubs doing. I can't help myself and lean over and kiss you, you start to reciprocate but I stop you, "Hey , just lay there, don't move, no matter what I do, just stay still".I continue to kiss your mouth, then your eye lids, I move onto your ears and neck. You let out a sigh as my hand brushes your breast and I slowly unbutton your dress fully so it falls open. My fingers work on your bra and I pull the cups down and your beautiful breasts are exposed, your nipples already stiffening as I kiss each one in turn. I roll them between my fingers and then circle the aureole, which seem to make your nipples stand even prouder.I run my finger from between your breasts down your stomach and as I reach your panties I can feel you tremble. I run my hands over the outside of your panties across your pussy, the warmth I can feel as I push against your lips. I pull your panties to one side and push two fingers in you, my thumb just gently playing over your clit. I continue this for a few minutes until you.
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